Wife Beating Verse

Many muslims and non-muslims get alarmed by the verse in Surah Nisa (women) that supposedly says to beat your women. We have to remember the Quran was revealed in Arabic, so its crucial to examine the Arabic before making a judgement. Furthermore, we also need to consider how the Prophet Muhammad and his companions understood and implemented Islamic principles and Quranic guidance.

Explanation from a linguistic prospective

The word ضْرِبُوهُنَّ does not mean to strike or beat, but instead to tap lightly. The evidence for this is that the same word is used when describing hitting the earth in tayammum. In tayammum, we are not instructed to beat or even hit the earth hard, but instead we are instructed to lightly tap the earth to get some dust on our hands. Below are Ahadith proving my claim:

Ammar b. Yasir said:

حَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ الْمِنْهَالِ، حَدَّثَنَا يَزِيدُ بْنُ زُرَيْعٍ، عَنْ سَعِيدٍ، عَنْ قَتَادَةَ، ععَنْ عَزْرَةَ، عَنْ سَعِيدِ بْنِ عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ بْنِ أَبْزَى، عَنْ أَبِيههِ، عَنْ عَمَّارِ بْنِ يَاسِرٍ، قَالَ
سَأَلْتُ النَّبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم عَنِ التَّيَمُّمِ فَأَمَرَنِي ضَرْبَةً وَاحِدَةً لِلْوَجْهِ وَالْكَفَّيْنِ

I asked the Prophet (ﷺ) about tayammum. He commanded me to strike only one stroke (i.e. the strike the ground) for (wiping) the face and the hands.

Studies comparing the efficacy of Miswak vs toothbrush have shown that Miswak offers comparable, or sometimes superior, results in oral hygiene. It helps create a fresh fragrance in the mouth, strengthens the gums, and helps prevent tooth decay.

وَعَنِ اِبْنِ عُمَرَ رَضِيَ اَللَّهُ عَنْهُمَا قَالَ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اَللَّهِ ‏- صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏-{ التَّيَمُّمُ ضَرْبَتَانِ ضَرْبَةٌ لِلْوَجْهِ, وَضَرْبَةٌ لِلْيَدَيْنِ إِلَى اَلْمِرْفَقَيْنِ } رَوَاهُ اَلدَّارَقُطْنِيُّ, وَصَحَّحَ اَلْأَئِمَّةُ وَقْفَه

Narrated Ibn `Umar (RA):

Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said: "Tayammum is two strikes: one for the face and one for the hands up to the elbows." Reported by Ad-Daraqutni

Explanation from the actions of RasulAllah ﷺ

My next and final evidence against this verse permitting wife beating is the actions of rasulAllah ﷺ. He never beat his wives and ordered the muslims not to do it, therefore making it haram.

Narrated Abdullah bin Zama:

The Prophet (ﷺ) forbade laughing at a person who passes wind, and said, "How does anyone of you beat his wife as he beats the stallion camel and then he may embrace (sleep with) her?" And Hisham said, "As he beats his slave"

It was narrated that ‘Aishah said:

"The Messenger of Allah never beat any of his servants, or wives, and his hand never hit anything."

Bahz bin Hakim reported on the authority of his father from his grandfather (Mu’awiyah ibn Haydah) as saying:

I said: Messenger of Allah, how should we approach our wives and how should we leave them? He replied: Approach your tilth when or how you will, give her (your wife) food when you take food, clothe when you clothe yourself, do not revile her face, and do not beat her.

Abu Dawud said:

The version of Shu'bah has: That you give her food when you have food yourself, and that you clothe her when you clothe yourself.

Narrated Mu’awiyah al-Qushayri:

I went to the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) and asked him: What do you say (command) about our wives? He replied: Give them food what you have for yourself, and clothe them by which you clothe yourself, and do not beat them, and do not revile them.

How should this verse be used in practice?

As Allah says in the ayat, if you fear your spouses (meaning your wives) have turned, or become unruly, or are misbehaving, then employ these steps to solve the problem.
  1. Address her directly (give her a warning/communicate)
  2. Separate the bedding (ignore her presence and don’t have relations with her)
  3. Tap her

As I explained above the sahaba never beat their wives, so how did they practice this? Scholars have explained that they used a siwak or a miswak to tap them. If you have ever seen a miswak (if not, look it up) than you will see it cannot induce any harm. The effect of a miswak is lighter than if you poked her with your finger. Nevertheless, this was clearly not done to harm the woman, but instead to reinforce that he is angry with her so perhaps at a last resort she will change her ways.

A final note about how this should be practiced is Allah’s commands in the Quran. First, many skip over the first half of the ayah:

Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard. As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (Next), refuse to share their beds, (And last) beat them (lightly); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them Means (of annoyance): For Allah is Most High, great (above you all).

Allah also commands the men in the same chapter:

O you who believe! You are forbidden to inherit women against their will; and you should not treat them with harshness, that you may take away part of the Mahr you have given them, unless they commit open illegal sexual intercourse; and live with them honourably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allâh brings through it a great deal of good.

Conclusion

I want to conclude by saying the purpose of this explanation is not to be apologetic. As muslims we do not apply our own meaning to the Quran and Sunnah, but the issue comes to be when people read these ayat and “jump” without seeking the proper knowledge on what is means and how it should be applied. Many muslims and non-muslims think its sufficient to interpret the Quran, while they lack in the Arabic language or while they don’t even know Arabic. This does not mean we cannot read the Quran, but if we don’t understand something, we must go to the people of knowledge that are able to explain with evidences.

The Article published in house of islam.com

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